It's been a while...

I originally looked at this and thought - I really don't think I need to blog right now. But then I read a few of my previous posts and realised that a lot has changed since i last wrote. That is, a lot has changed since I last wrote about that lying, cheating friend of mine.

So I figured I'd give you an update. Um... well, nothing has really happened! He is officially out of my life, and it's taken a while, but he's almost officially out of my head.

My feelings for him went from love to hate, and then to love and back to hate. Then we had a brief stint of adoration, followed by disgust, hate and all things horrible. For a period of about 6 months (up until the other day) I still hated him, but it was tending more towards dislike. And then, when driving home from Armidale, I realised that I don't hate him anymore. He has become relatively insignificant in my life... well he's actually become non-existent... so my feelings for him now are verging on sympathy. 

I believe that one day I will soon feel nothing but a slight appreciation of the nice things he did. The bad things will no longer matter and I'll be happy to leave the whole sordid, yet educational, time in the past. 

So it's good! I feel a real sense that I have finally created a little life that is happy and in need of nothing. One day I may even feel that it's time to let someone else into my life. What form that someone else will take, is your guess.

Hair and Stuff

Sooo I think I like my hair. It's getting blonder by the day and I'm going back to the hair choppers soon to get it blonder. Tres excitement.

I'm going to Sydney for AprilTime and can't wait! Gonna have to be proper good until then. I'm giving up smoking today too - but I bought the patches. Hooray!

Man issues; bloke who Lisa and I met at the pub likes me. But I don't know if I like him - don't get me wrong, he's a lovely guy. Very funny, intelligent, interesting... but I just don't know if I could like him like that. Is that my fault? Lisa was saying how great he is, and she was right. But I just can't bring myself to consider him. I think this is a mum talk. Or actually - maybe it's a chappers talk. Yes.

Titifupu on Friday! Maybe I can chat to my chappy then :)

You know what...?

The blog is back. Blame Twitter. Blame Facebook. Blame everybody but me. It's an involuntary reaction to boredom.

Watch this space...

This is The End

No - I'm not quoting a song by The Doors. This IS the end. I have decided, after months of not writing anything on here, that I don't need it anymore.

I've tried to write on here, I've wanted to write on here, but I've had nothing to complain about! I think that the main reason this is so is the recent cleansing of my life. I changed jobs and simultaneously got rid of one of the most important people in my life. But you see, I realised that he is NOT important at all, and without him my life is 100% more effective. I am a much happier, less erratic person. I used to suffer from what I thought was horrific PMT, but it was HIM!! He made me behave like a lunatic and a wailing banshee and now he's gone, I'm normal again!

In short, I am at peace with life, juice shops, salad bars, colleagues, politics... You name it; I don't have an opinion on it. And that's the way I like it.

:)

Chicken

I am watching a programme on battery chickens. surely the solution lies with the consumer? I don't understand why they make free range non-battery eggs more expensive than the battery farmed ones?

We all need to stop buying the battery farmed eggs so that the battery farms aren't able to produce their battery eggs anymore. And then they need to reduce the cost of free range eggs. It's a simple fucking solution, but why aren't we doing it? I have encountered people who don't give a shit about anything and it's these people who we need to kick in the balls and shove out the door.

An acquaintance of mine used to say that he didn't give a shit about trees being chopped down, even thought he was a staunch advocate of the RSPCA's. I tried to explain to him that animals live in trees and forests that are being destroyed, but he just didn't care. It's these people who buy battery eggs because they cost less, and it is these people who need to wake up and smell the death.

Unfortunately, you can't improve humanity.

Swallowing Dates

Boo - it's almost Monday. That sucks many kinds of balls, I'm sure you'll agree. So, what shall I do to make myself feel a little better? I'll keep denying the fact that I do kind of need to start thinking about work again, and I'll stuff my face full of dates because it's the only thing I have in my house that is vaguely sweet.

I am SO good at not buying junk food when I'm at the supermarket, and then it all falls apart when I suffer incredible cravings for sweet things. I end up doing really stupid things, like dipping my finger in the honey jar, or, as mentioned above, pigging out on copious amounts of dried fruit.

Does anybody know what happens when you eat a shit load of fibre? 'Shit load' being the operative phrase there...

Onto less nasty subjects - am I the only person in the world who finds it very difficult to understand the sporting people in this country? Let me give you an example: League Players and their coaches. When was the last time you actually understood what one of them said? I actually think that Wayne Bennett IS speaking another language - I don't even recognise any of the sounds that come out of his mouth. I'm thinking that maybe this is a side effect of too many high tackles - but the phenomenon does not extend to AFL players - I can understand them just fine.

Hmmm - I've run out of dates...

Ok, so anyway, thank you, Toes, for a lovely BBQ and some very fine garlic yesterday - it's almost like I could taste the goodness when I woke up this morning! I apologise for having to leave with only 3 drinks under my belt, but you see, I am a pussy. I think I have decided that I can't actually handle hangovers - at least, temporarily. While I am still getting used to being a very busy working person, I can't risk wasting one of my weekend days feeling like death.

So, as I sit and munch on my dates and wait for Colin to come over for "cuddle time", I realise that I am destined to be a loser for a little while longer - at least until my job gets less frighteningly busy.

It's all good...

Don't worry - I haven't died due to workload. In fact, I have actually got used to it! Now having less than 6 meetings in a day seems odd. So, it's all good.

What's also 'all good' is everything. That's right - EVERYTHING. Due to some rather unfortunate circumstances I have had a moment of enlightenment to do with an apparent friend of mine. This friend has made it quite clear in the past two weeks (through an absolute lack of contact) that he does not want to be friends with me.

To be frank, it's made my job a hell of a lot easier. You see, the lack of contact has actually given me some much needed perspective! I've realised that I don't want to be friends with him! I've even gone one step further and can now say that my life is 100% better without him. It's like a weight has been lifted and replaced with a small amount of pity. I pity him due to the fact that he's quite clearly destined to live a miserable life with nobody who he can confide in or feel completely at ease with. He has set this up for himself so has nobody else to blame but himself - which makes the situation he's in all the more pitiable.

I was once part of his life of lies, but now I am free of it. And if anybody asks me anything about his sordid and debaucherous life, I will freely tell all if I feel like it.

But to be honest, right now, I don't want to waste any more of my precious time thinking, let alone speaking, of him. I feel sorry for him and the pain of my sorrow is not something that I deserve. So let it be known - I no longer associate with liars and I only have time for the truth.

What a release!