Rubbish.

I despise two faced people.

I also despise the fact that my boss is sick today, another of my colleagues is sick, my best colleagues (x2) are on holiday and the remaining 'people' will shortly be leaving the office for the rest of the day. I will be required to be here at 12pm for a meeting with other boss, AND someone has to be here for drinks in arvo with bigger boss. SO, this sucks.

I've decided I'm gonna take an excessively long lunch and buy some books and stuff. Anyone free for lunch and in the city - gimme a call!

Bad turned Stoopid

So, the coffee date boy emailed me to say sorry. I shall relay what i can remember of the conversation:

Him:
"Sorry - I must have walked straight past you or something. I hope we can meet up another time? Sorry again."

Me:
"Hey don't be sorry - it's not your fault. I just don't think that this is going to work out. I don't have too much time on my hands due to work so I think it's probably best if we just leave it. But thank you for being so nice and thoughtful!"

Him:
"Geez... just goes to prove that all the chicks are nuts, even the ones who I think are nice. enjoy being an old cat lady."

Yes - you read correctly. What a prick. I didn't reply to his abuse. I didn't want to stoop to his level of intelligence. Seriously though - how did it suddenly turn from HIM not being able to find starbucks on a non-crowded 3pm main city street, to ME being crazy with my nice email??

Fucking men - I tell ya...

Good turned Bad

Yesterday I smashed my target and was super chipper about it and happy etc - looking forward to massive bonus. And then it was all ruined by a randomly pathetic excuse for a coffee date.

I've decided that I need a man who does NOT wear his heart on his sleeve, (or better yet - doesn't appear to have one), I need a man who does not have issues with punctuality, I need a man who can spot a starbucks, on a street that only has one, in the middle of the day. Seriously - I've never met (or not met) a more pathetic excuse for a man. I thought things were turning out badly when he kept texting me saying 'have a good day today...' - WHAT? Leave me alone you scary stalker creep. God damn - where have all the real men gone??

I know that more often than not the real men don't work in offices, (there are some exceptions to this rule), but it now seems that real men aren't tradies either. So what next? Clearly I need to branch out into the armed forces. You can't get more manly than that, right?

Bring me a man with no manners, no feelings and a gun strapped to his side.

Cholera

Well, I did it - I posted every day for a week. Are you proud of me, Toes?

I think I'm gonna wear my new dress tomorrow - although I am slightly worried that it might be too cold. My week plans are looking to be rather hectic; a mixture of work AND personal business, I'll have you know. Not very like me to have social engagements, I know. I can't divulge too much on here though, so if you're interested to know what the hell I'm going on about then please, just ask.

I just watched a movie with S-Jo; I hate her. But I enjoyed the movie somewhat. Only because there was swearing and an attractive man. The Nanny Diaries. Yes - I know - it sounds crap. And it probably was crap, but I've had no chocolate today so it was needed.

Hmmm, cholera. Random thought for you.

Ciao!

Overwhelmed

Today I was gonna go gym in morning, but I had an overwhelming need to go shopping, so I put my gym bag in car and went shopping. I spent the rest of my money on various lovely things that I didn't technically need, but I don't care. So I finished shopping and instead of going to the gym, I was faced with an overwhelming need to cook a pineapple upside-down cake. So I went home and cooked a cake. It's in the oven now - should ding in a minute. I was also gonna clean my house this arvo, but I figured that most weekends I spend the Saturday being super busy with various things, and then on the Sunday I just get bored. SO I'm gonna leave the gym and the cleaning til tomorrow and today I will spend my time doing other things. What other things? I don't know. Watching my cake cool down - thinking about what I'll have for dinner - playing with Colin - watching Wayne's World... Yes, I haven't watched it in years and am slowly realising that it is actually very funny. Um, and that's it from me. Ooooh wow - just turned the cake out and it looks great! I am officially a culinary genius... cos it's such a difficult cake to make...

Pinned

I drank TWO cups of coffee this morning, and because I've been sticking to tea or water of late, something strange happened. As my friend Margey described it, my "pupils were pinned"; that is, they were tiny. I was HIGH on caffeine. Running around like the energizer bunny on speed - thankfully I did not encounter any attractive men on my outing so did not shame myself in the slightest.

However, this coffee overload seems to have suppressed my appetite as well. It's now officially lunch time and I am not hungry, and even if I was my brain aint capable of determining exactly what I would like to eat. So, I sit and wait until my body tells me what it would like me to do.

Meanwhile, I went on a very successful meeting this morning and have pitched an almighty client for a sum of money that would put me in a very unfamiliar situation: Cashed Up. I'm already spending it, and he hasn't even approved the sale yet. So, I sit and wait for him to reply confirming, or otherwise.

It seems that today is generally about sitting and waiting. Some prick decided to schedule in a compulsory meeting for 16:30 this afternoon (I ask you), so I'll also be sitting and waiting for that. Joy.

Argh. What to do this weekend... eat, sleep, gym, Colin...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLIN!!

Mummy loves you more and more with every day.

Complaint.

Last night I had a visitor. It was probably quite obvious to him that I don't ordinarily receive visitors at such an ungodly hour (6pm), because I was wearing my cowboy pj trousers and a black vest which my boobs have the ungraceful habit of falling out of.

He was a salesman. For some telephone company. I explained that I don't pay for any of my phones, tv or internet, and that my company pay for all of it because I work from home, (I can dream...). He was very surprised and was looking at me in disbelief, and said, "Really? That's lucky for you. What company do you work for? Do you live alone?" I replied in the affirmative to the final question but later regretted it.

He eventually left, in a little bit of shock that I was so lucky to work for my company, but then he CAME BACK. About half an hour later I answered the door again, and he asked me "What company did you say you worked for again?" And after a few more stupid pointless questions he asked me if he could come in for a glass of water!

I said, 'um, no you can't', and shut the door. I felt threatened! I was genuinely worried for my safety. So today I am going to phone Optus (whom I suspect were the employers of this man) and complain. Yes - I feel like a good old complain. I've already put in a complaint to Westpac this morning (frequent flyer points; don't ask) so I'm on a roll.

Anger

I'm in a weird mood. I'm very spaced out, and I had a late lunch cos I wasn't hungry, even though I ate no dinner last night. Rubbish.

I'm very much looking forward to the weekend cos I really can't be fucked to be at work any longer and I'm sick of various things in my office, such as the fuckwit behind me whose jaw clicks every time he eats something, and my boss who is an obsesses triathlete and won't shut the fuck up about my target. I'M NOT GONNA HIT MY FUCKING TARGET YOU PRICK SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Yes. And Colin most likely hates me cos I didn't get home til late last night and he was all alone. Bless his little cotton socks. It's his birthday very soon and I haven't got him a present yet. I feel bad.

What else. Um, if anybody is doing anything next weekend, (24th and 25th), can I come? I sense boredom will be an issue and feel that I should put an action plan in place to combat this preempted nastiness.

Fuckwit with clicking jaw is also trying to see my new blog address cos he's the fuckwit who made me get rid of my old one and no doubt he wants to cause trouble with this one too. He's just jealous because I'm not an IGNORANT FUCKWIT like him.

Noises

This morning I arrived to my office to find that the fire alarm was being tested. This wasn't your average 'spurt' of the alarm before silence resumed. This was a prolonged outburst, lasting no less than 10 whole minutes. I tried blocking my ears, but this failed to block out the noise. So, in a desperate attempt to escape the infernal racket I went over the road and bought a coffee.

Some of you may know that I very rarely drink coffee now, and prefer to stick to the wonderful antioxidantness of tea. So, in short, I blame my work for any ill health which I happen to suffer over the next few weeks, and if time off is required, I expect this to not be held against me in the slightest.

With regards to yesterday's post, I find that it is relatively easy to write at will, so please don't feel that the quality of my blog will be too compromised by the frequency of blogging.

I'm going to meet Tim Winton tonight. I'm tempted to pass him some of my own incredibly prolific writing. Ha. I imagine he'd be very polite and say 'why thanks! I'll be sure to read this!' and then use it as toilet paper.

So, instead, I will go along, get my books signed, and leave with my credibility as a writer in tact.

As Requested

I've been asked to blog, but I don't know what to blog about. I wrote some stuff on the weekend, on paper - old school - but I can't put it on here cos it's not really the right forum is it. No.

Oh - I had Thai food on Friday; one craving satisfied. I also had an insatiable craving for chocolate peanuts on Saturday so I bought a kilo of them; another craving satisfied. I'm hoping the cravings have gone now. I seem to have been free of them today, but who knows what'll happen when I get home.

I'm going to meet Tim Winton tomorrow! For any of you who don't know who he is, he's an amazing author. I just finished reading his latest book 'Breath' and would highly recommend it to everybody. It's brilliant. He has such a nice way of writing. I love him. I might jump on him. Except, he has a ponytail that's longer than mine. That's not right.

I've been asked to update my blog more often. So, over the next week I will update every day, HOWEVER, I cannot guarantee the quality of my posts. Higher demand means less time to think about what I'm writing.

Innit.

Old Greeny

I'm getting my green thumb into gear. I've been to Bunnings TWICE this weekend and I'm thinking about going again tomorrow. It's a long weekend you see - and I'm spending it very quietly at home playing with the garden and stuff.

So, I now have a nice looking climber planted out front, and a cactus out the back with the rocket plant mum gave me. Also, I was reading that having plants inside the house helps you stay well and prevents colds, so I bought a trailing indoor plant and have put it in the kitchen.

Tomorrow I think I would go and buy a bag of potting mix cos mum gave me some jade and I wanna get that going.

I just realised ... um ... why am I telling you all this? Do I not care about my 'street cred' any longer? Have I lost all contact with my social side? Has my social inclination completely disappeared and finally, after years of threatening it, I am retreating to my 'house on a hill' where I grow my own vegetables...? The children in my street already stare at me when I take Colin out for a walk... it's only a matter of time before I start to smell of wee and they throw rocks at me.

Oh lord... I just realised something else. Today I went to Bunnings wearing the same trousers that I wore to bed last night. Does this count as 'wearing your pyjamas in public'? They're not officially pj trousers - but I often wear them to bed. Cos they're comfy. And warm.

Oh crap. This is all happening so quickly... I don't know if I can prevent the inevitable. Friends have called me 'Nanna' in the past - it won't be long before taunts of "The Smelly Old Woman With The Bald Cat" start being thrown my way...