Being

When breathing is too much effort, you know you've gone one step closer to stopping altogether. I just wonder if I'll consciously stop breathing, or if my body will do it for me and render me physically incapable of existing at all. I could just implode, and be no longer.

What is this whole thing about 'just being' anyway. Paul Abdul on American Idol told roughly 7 contestants yesterday that they should 'just be'. I have also been told that I should 'just be' for a while. What I'm confused about is this: How does one NOT just be? When you're told by someone to 'just be', are they simply telling you to 'not not be', i.e. to not be dead...?

In which case, do I need to make a concerted effort to not be dead, in order to 'just be'? Is it as simple as stopping breathing on purpose, and therefore in order to 'just be', making a conscious effort to keep breathing...?

If so, I can consciously make the effort to carry on breathing... for today. Come tomorrow, I'm not sure as yet. I might just let my body take control and open myself up to the idea of not being - see if the body does, in fact, render me physically incapable of existing.