I'm thinking that I have finally discovered the source of a good mood. For years I've troubled myself over how and why a bad mood starts - I've gone to the gym 7 days a week, certain that this would put me in a good mood. I've eaten the same muesli brand and variety for almost 2 years because I assumed that this was the trigger for a good mood. But I have now discovered that it's none of these things.
Dark Chocolate. Namely, Green & Black's organic Maya Gold Dark Chocolate.
It's organic, so apparently it's better for me and will stop me from getting cancer. And it's dark, so this has ... stuff in it, that is... um... good for you, or something.
My point is that I can now recommend that everybody buy some of this chocolate, and ration off about 4-6 pieces of it to be eaten every night before bed. Don't just go chewing it down, mind you; it must be eaten slowly - left to melt on the tongue in order to get the full benefit of it's healing and... good properties.
You should see a general uplift in your mood, and if like me, will be riding high on a wave of hysterical happiness for days.
P.s. I've run out of chocolate, therefore cannot guarantee my mood tomorrow.
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
Saturday, 26 January 2008
000
This is the number for the emergency services in Australia. I'm posting it here as a reminder to myself because last night, when I actually needed it, I couldn't for the life of me remember it. I almost dialled 999 a few times, and then 911, and then I just called my mum.
Why? Because I was suffering from the most inexplicable pain I have ever encountered in my life. It is absolutely worthy of writing about on here, and while I am a bit of a hypochondriac, I still have an ability to distinguish between pain, and real pain. And last night's bout of period pain was ferocious.
It started suddenly, and I took two Panadol and two Codeine. They did nothing and the pain got worse and worse. Within half an hour I was shaking with pain, vomiting, and my hands had gone numb. I actually thought that it couldn't just be period pain and it had to be food poisoning or appendicitis or something. But once mum got my emergency call, she came straight over (in her pj's) carrying a bag of goodies.
By this point I was as white as a ghost and couldn't even stand up cos my feet were going numb too. I'd started hyperventilating with panic and couldn't even move my hands anymore. And then mum pulled out the tramadol.
The rest of the night, after being put in bed with a wet towel and a bottle of water, was spent in la la land. She gave me TWO tramadol so I was... fucked. Absolutely, divinely, fucked. Problem is, I'm now in limbo - somewhere between fucked and sober and can't really do much with myself. So all of my Australia Day plans have been screwed over. The only thing that makes me feel less bad about this, is that I'm probably more fucked than anybody will be at any of the parties I was planning on going to. So, technically, I'm COOL.
Why? Because I was suffering from the most inexplicable pain I have ever encountered in my life. It is absolutely worthy of writing about on here, and while I am a bit of a hypochondriac, I still have an ability to distinguish between pain, and real pain. And last night's bout of period pain was ferocious.
It started suddenly, and I took two Panadol and two Codeine. They did nothing and the pain got worse and worse. Within half an hour I was shaking with pain, vomiting, and my hands had gone numb. I actually thought that it couldn't just be period pain and it had to be food poisoning or appendicitis or something. But once mum got my emergency call, she came straight over (in her pj's) carrying a bag of goodies.
By this point I was as white as a ghost and couldn't even stand up cos my feet were going numb too. I'd started hyperventilating with panic and couldn't even move my hands anymore. And then mum pulled out the tramadol.
The rest of the night, after being put in bed with a wet towel and a bottle of water, was spent in la la land. She gave me TWO tramadol so I was... fucked. Absolutely, divinely, fucked. Problem is, I'm now in limbo - somewhere between fucked and sober and can't really do much with myself. So all of my Australia Day plans have been screwed over. The only thing that makes me feel less bad about this, is that I'm probably more fucked than anybody will be at any of the parties I was planning on going to. So, technically, I'm COOL.
Thursday, 24 January 2008
Pain au Chocolat
An appropriate name for a food item that relieves pain. This morning I was feeling stressed out to the max - and now, post pain au chocolat, I just feel clogged up.
No - I'm not referring to my bowel, I mean clogged up in the head. I guess I want to use this as a public notice - I want to say what I really shouldn't in real life because truly, it doesn't affect anybody but me (I hope), so here we go:
I have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. Mum's moving house, I'm helping to coordinate it and my job is suddenly and uncharacteristically busy. It's the head stuff though - that's what screwing me over. I'm hoping it subsides soon. I'm attempting to flush out the nasty stuff (no - I'm not referring to my bowel) and then have a clean slate.
As much as I'd love you to know what I'm talking about, I really don't need to explain it. Valium helps; now if I could just get the valium bottle to give me a god damned fucking HUG then I'd be fine. Sometimes I think that's all I need - just a bit of fucking sympathy. But really, I don't want sympathy. I just want to live in a world where people are less busy and have a little more time to share.
(Aside) And where people are less fucking sarcastic.
No - I'm not referring to my bowel, I mean clogged up in the head. I guess I want to use this as a public notice - I want to say what I really shouldn't in real life because truly, it doesn't affect anybody but me (I hope), so here we go:
I have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. Mum's moving house, I'm helping to coordinate it and my job is suddenly and uncharacteristically busy. It's the head stuff though - that's what screwing me over. I'm hoping it subsides soon. I'm attempting to flush out the nasty stuff (no - I'm not referring to my bowel) and then have a clean slate.
As much as I'd love you to know what I'm talking about, I really don't need to explain it. Valium helps; now if I could just get the valium bottle to give me a god damned fucking HUG then I'd be fine. Sometimes I think that's all I need - just a bit of fucking sympathy. But really, I don't want sympathy. I just want to live in a world where people are less busy and have a little more time to share.
(Aside) And where people are less fucking sarcastic.
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Sore Bum
Unfortunately this is NOT a sex-related injury. And it doesn't even belong to me. I'm talking for Jayden; my little black barina.
His little black bum got rear-ended this morning, by a Mazda. It's not the fact that his bum now has a scratch on it that upsets me, it's the fact that it was done by a Japanese piece of shit car. I'm sure you'll all agree that any car accident, regardless of fault, is more easily coped with and much more acceptable when the other car is of a fine quality and worth a bit of a perve. A Porsche, perhaps, or a Mercedes would even be better.
The same can be said for the driver. If you happen to be rear-ended by a car (let's say it's a Porsche Carerra GT) and the driver is a stunningly attractive 6 foot tall man with buns of steel and a continuous nose and forehead, you'd almost be happy for the event. This morning's perpetrator was a rather unattractive woman, around 5 foot 9 (scary for a woman), probably 100kg, wearing far too much foundation of entirely the wrong shade, and to make matters worse - she had bad skin; surprisingly still visible under the inch of make-up.
So, Jayden left with a sore and possibly damaged bum, and I left with sore eyes and a weak stomach. Not a great way to start the day.
His little black bum got rear-ended this morning, by a Mazda. It's not the fact that his bum now has a scratch on it that upsets me, it's the fact that it was done by a Japanese piece of shit car. I'm sure you'll all agree that any car accident, regardless of fault, is more easily coped with and much more acceptable when the other car is of a fine quality and worth a bit of a perve. A Porsche, perhaps, or a Mercedes would even be better.
The same can be said for the driver. If you happen to be rear-ended by a car (let's say it's a Porsche Carerra GT) and the driver is a stunningly attractive 6 foot tall man with buns of steel and a continuous nose and forehead, you'd almost be happy for the event. This morning's perpetrator was a rather unattractive woman, around 5 foot 9 (scary for a woman), probably 100kg, wearing far too much foundation of entirely the wrong shade, and to make matters worse - she had bad skin; surprisingly still visible under the inch of make-up.
So, Jayden left with a sore and possibly damaged bum, and I left with sore eyes and a weak stomach. Not a great way to start the day.
Monday, 21 January 2008
Rich
No - I haven't won the lotto. But I have gained a new sense of richness. Whether it was the weekend of Valium, my time with my good friend Toes, or the shopping extravaganza I enjoyed on Saturday - I don't know. Either way, I am a new me this week.
I have new clothes, which helps. They fit me too - so that's even better. I went to a spin class yesterday and today, so my butt and thighs feel like concrete, in a good way. And I am now a richer person. Sometimes you can float along in your life thinking only about the things you want to improve, or the things that are lacking. And when you do this, you forget about all the good things - I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
So, this week, and forever more, I will concentrate on the good things in my life. The things that just don't cut it can get fucked - I'm sick of trying to reinvent and change things to make them appear better than they are, so I'm forgetting them. Out with the old, and in with the new [clothes].
Also - I seem to be getting through to Colin; I've started a regime of punishment. Every time he wakes me up in the middle of the night, I put him in his play room and leave him in there until I get up. So I managed to sleep in until 07:30 on Sunday!! This has added to my state of richness, and has allowed me to embark on this week of fortune with a spring in my step.
Sweet.
P.s. ... and by god do I fucking love it when the spell check finds 'no misspellings' - I am the GREATEST.
I have new clothes, which helps. They fit me too - so that's even better. I went to a spin class yesterday and today, so my butt and thighs feel like concrete, in a good way. And I am now a richer person. Sometimes you can float along in your life thinking only about the things you want to improve, or the things that are lacking. And when you do this, you forget about all the good things - I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
So, this week, and forever more, I will concentrate on the good things in my life. The things that just don't cut it can get fucked - I'm sick of trying to reinvent and change things to make them appear better than they are, so I'm forgetting them. Out with the old, and in with the new [clothes].
Also - I seem to be getting through to Colin; I've started a regime of punishment. Every time he wakes me up in the middle of the night, I put him in his play room and leave him in there until I get up. So I managed to sleep in until 07:30 on Sunday!! This has added to my state of richness, and has allowed me to embark on this week of fortune with a spring in my step.
Sweet.
P.s. ... and by god do I fucking love it when the spell check finds 'no misspellings' - I am the GREATEST.
Thursday, 17 January 2008
Pussy Whipped
Yep - Colin's got me wrapped round his little claw, and it's sharp.
I'm writing by way of gathering some advice - I need your help. This is directed at anybody who has any idea about cats. Here's the situation:
Colin wakes me up every morning at about 4:30 - this doesn't bother me so much, as I get up at 5 anyway. it's the METHOD that he wakes me. I don't let him into my room because I don't like to share my bed with creatures that lick their own arses, so Colin sits outside my door and miaows. Miaow miaow miaow miaow constantly. When he realises that the miaowing doesn't work, he starts to throw himself at the door. Literally - he jumps 4 feet in the air, directly at my door, and then scratches his nails all the way down. THUD - SCRAAAAAAATCHHHHH - MIAOW. That's what wakes me up.
So, what's his problem and how can I fix it? I understand that I'm his mum, and he loves me, but really - this is a little odd. It's akin to a small child hitting it's head against a wall when it wants something. It's like his own special little tanty.
I can't deal with it for much longer - so short of sound proofing my room, I'd like some help. How can I stop him?
I'm writing by way of gathering some advice - I need your help. This is directed at anybody who has any idea about cats. Here's the situation:
Colin wakes me up every morning at about 4:30 - this doesn't bother me so much, as I get up at 5 anyway. it's the METHOD that he wakes me. I don't let him into my room because I don't like to share my bed with creatures that lick their own arses, so Colin sits outside my door and miaows. Miaow miaow miaow miaow constantly. When he realises that the miaowing doesn't work, he starts to throw himself at the door. Literally - he jumps 4 feet in the air, directly at my door, and then scratches his nails all the way down. THUD - SCRAAAAAAATCHHHHH - MIAOW. That's what wakes me up.
So, what's his problem and how can I fix it? I understand that I'm his mum, and he loves me, but really - this is a little odd. It's akin to a small child hitting it's head against a wall when it wants something. It's like his own special little tanty.
I can't deal with it for much longer - so short of sound proofing my room, I'd like some help. How can I stop him?
Tuesday, 15 January 2008
Wet
And not in a good way. It's raining in Brisbane, and I have a real problem. ALL of my shoes leak. I have now gone through two pairs of shoes that are simply not fit for use in a wet country. What I'd like to know is, are all shoes on sale in Brisbane made only for dry weather? Or have I just been very unlucky in my shoe purchasing?
I'm thinking, if this weather keeps up, I might have to import my shoes from the UK - land of the internal grey cloud. Are there any volunteers over there who wouldn't mind spending my hard earned cash on some shoes, then shipping them over to me? Anybody...?
Additionally, I seem to have run out of ways to prevent getting sweaty first thing in the morning. Obviously my gym visit is intended sweatiness, but it's when I get out of the shower and begin my endless dashing about trying to look wonderful that I have the problems. Starts on the forehead, then the upper lip, then I near enough need another shower. The fan is USELESS, as is the air conditioning cos it only covers one room. So what do I do? Seriously - how the fuck do I get out of the fucking humidity long enough to apply my mascara??
Flustered - that's what I am. And wet; partly from rain and partly from sweat. Pleasant. I blame god.
I'm thinking, if this weather keeps up, I might have to import my shoes from the UK - land of the internal grey cloud. Are there any volunteers over there who wouldn't mind spending my hard earned cash on some shoes, then shipping them over to me? Anybody...?
Additionally, I seem to have run out of ways to prevent getting sweaty first thing in the morning. Obviously my gym visit is intended sweatiness, but it's when I get out of the shower and begin my endless dashing about trying to look wonderful that I have the problems. Starts on the forehead, then the upper lip, then I near enough need another shower. The fan is USELESS, as is the air conditioning cos it only covers one room. So what do I do? Seriously - how the fuck do I get out of the fucking humidity long enough to apply my mascara??
Flustered - that's what I am. And wet; partly from rain and partly from sweat. Pleasant. I blame god.
Monday, 14 January 2008
Raaaaaa...
I'm back from the land of IDon'tKnowWhere, and I don't know what to talk about. I feel like I've been sat around with my finger up my arse, but I'm sure that's not the case. I'm almost certain that I've been doing something incredibly exciting... Let's have a quick recap then Bazza; search that memory of yours and write it down:
I got my nails done. They're blue/purple. I want them darker, but my hands are nice and soft.
I spring cleaned my house. Colin spent the day at Granny's house and picked up fleas. I killed the fleas by spraying him with Mortein and flea bombing my house. He didn't like it.
I went to a football game last night. It was emotional. Not because of the football. But I'm over it now - thanks to all those concerned.
I'm still receiving birthday emails. Work email server is fucked. But yay for happy birthday.
Pissed off my sister hasn't got me a card or present. Waiting for the excuse.
Done absolutely no writing, but have watched half of season 2 of Nip/Tuck. Yessss.
And I think that's it. I almost gave away the existence of my new blog to a colleague that shouldn't be reading it. But I managed to placate her requests with a document compiling the 'best bits' of my old blog. Thank god. (Oh! Hi god! How you doing? ... Sweet.)
Brain dead now. Too much yoghurt.
I got my nails done. They're blue/purple. I want them darker, but my hands are nice and soft.
I spring cleaned my house. Colin spent the day at Granny's house and picked up fleas. I killed the fleas by spraying him with Mortein and flea bombing my house. He didn't like it.
I went to a football game last night. It was emotional. Not because of the football. But I'm over it now - thanks to all those concerned.
I'm still receiving birthday emails. Work email server is fucked. But yay for happy birthday.
Pissed off my sister hasn't got me a card or present. Waiting for the excuse.
Done absolutely no writing, but have watched half of season 2 of Nip/Tuck. Yessss.
And I think that's it. I almost gave away the existence of my new blog to a colleague that shouldn't be reading it. But I managed to placate her requests with a document compiling the 'best bits' of my old blog. Thank god. (Oh! Hi god! How you doing? ... Sweet.)
Brain dead now. Too much yoghurt.
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
Me
Hi! It's my birthday today! Yay me!! Seriously though, I'm excessively excited and couldn't be happier. This is the most special day of the year for me, and I'm really happy with the way it's panning out.
I've received numerous phone calls from family members. This previously didn't happen as I was in the UK and the majority of the family forgot my birthday altogether because of the impenetrable difficulty of a time difference. So yay for being in the same time zone as my family on my birthday.
Also, I got a call from my Dad and for the first year ever he didn't make me cry! Well done Dad (not that you're reading this) and well done me for ending the call when it started to take a turn for the worse.
I have to say a big thank you to my colleagues. (This is turning out like an award acceptance speech. But hey, it's kind of an award for being a year older.) They have made me feel very special and bought me the most thoughtful present ever - a book voucher!! Seriously - I can't think of anything I would want more.
I'd like to thank God for not being there to mess with my head and make me celebrate xmas, therefore dampening the excitement of my birthday and potentially making me broke on my big day. Thanks God - you're lack of presence in my life is, as always, much appreciated.
And lastly, I'd like to thank me. Bazza - you've done a damn fine job of reaching 26. I don't care if you're now a lot closer to 30 because I do think that you're just getting better with age. Like a piece of cheese, you mature and taste better with every day that passes. (Just cut off the mouldy bits as and when they appear.)
I've received numerous phone calls from family members. This previously didn't happen as I was in the UK and the majority of the family forgot my birthday altogether because of the impenetrable difficulty of a time difference. So yay for being in the same time zone as my family on my birthday.
Also, I got a call from my Dad and for the first year ever he didn't make me cry! Well done Dad (not that you're reading this) and well done me for ending the call when it started to take a turn for the worse.
I have to say a big thank you to my colleagues. (This is turning out like an award acceptance speech. But hey, it's kind of an award for being a year older.) They have made me feel very special and bought me the most thoughtful present ever - a book voucher!! Seriously - I can't think of anything I would want more.
I'd like to thank God for not being there to mess with my head and make me celebrate xmas, therefore dampening the excitement of my birthday and potentially making me broke on my big day. Thanks God - you're lack of presence in my life is, as always, much appreciated.
And lastly, I'd like to thank me. Bazza - you've done a damn fine job of reaching 26. I don't care if you're now a lot closer to 30 because I do think that you're just getting better with age. Like a piece of cheese, you mature and taste better with every day that passes. (Just cut off the mouldy bits as and when they appear.)
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Ouch.
I've hurt my back. I was at the gym doing some strange one legged pack squat things with my trainer, and all of a sudden my back hurt. We stopped, and she prodded, and I squealed, and then got back to it. When I got home I stretched it out, but it's more painful than any muscle ache I've had before.
The pain begins at the centre of my back in one of my Lat muscles. It then extends on either side of my spine down to the small of my back; at which point it curls around my sides and attacks my abdominal muscles.
Every time I move, it hurts. Every time I breathe, it hurts.
Luckily, colleague who hurt their back last year has given me Physio's number and I have made an appointment for tomorrow morning. Can I cope with the pain until then? No - but Panamax sure as hell can. And if, by some strange twist of fate, Panamax doesn't deliver its usual relief, I have some tramadol at home and I'll be heading off to space cadet land without hesitation.
In other news, welcome to 2008, and the countdown for Bazza's Birthday has begun: 4.5 days to go!!!
The pain begins at the centre of my back in one of my Lat muscles. It then extends on either side of my spine down to the small of my back; at which point it curls around my sides and attacks my abdominal muscles.
Every time I move, it hurts. Every time I breathe, it hurts.
Luckily, colleague who hurt their back last year has given me Physio's number and I have made an appointment for tomorrow morning. Can I cope with the pain until then? No - but Panamax sure as hell can. And if, by some strange twist of fate, Panamax doesn't deliver its usual relief, I have some tramadol at home and I'll be heading off to space cadet land without hesitation.
In other news, welcome to 2008, and the countdown for Bazza's Birthday has begun: 4.5 days to go!!!
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