Unfortunately this is NOT a sex-related injury. And it doesn't even belong to me. I'm talking for Jayden; my little black barina.
His little black bum got rear-ended this morning, by a Mazda. It's not the fact that his bum now has a scratch on it that upsets me, it's the fact that it was done by a Japanese piece of shit car. I'm sure you'll all agree that any car accident, regardless of fault, is more easily coped with and much more acceptable when the other car is of a fine quality and worth a bit of a perve. A Porsche, perhaps, or a Mercedes would even be better.
The same can be said for the driver. If you happen to be rear-ended by a car (let's say it's a Porsche Carerra GT) and the driver is a stunningly attractive 6 foot tall man with buns of steel and a continuous nose and forehead, you'd almost be happy for the event. This morning's perpetrator was a rather unattractive woman, around 5 foot 9 (scary for a woman), probably 100kg, wearing far too much foundation of entirely the wrong shade, and to make matters worse - she had bad skin; surprisingly still visible under the inch of make-up.
So, Jayden left with a sore and possibly damaged bum, and I left with sore eyes and a weak stomach. Not a great way to start the day.
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The 2008 version of 'I Like To Complain'. Access: By Invitation Only
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3 comments:
sally isn't that your 3rd accident in the last 3 months? Maybe you need to accept the fact that you can't drive and that your poor car deserves better!
Oh Yeah, Mazda's are great cars too!
Barrett - What EXACTLY is scary about a women being 5 foot 9?
Ballard (5 foot 11 - Technically 6 foot 4 today as I have very high heels on.)
Ahhhh my lovely ballard - you make up for your scary height by having the most wonderful personality.
(You see how I rectified that?)
And, a woman of 5 foot or shorter is equally scary. I, at 5 foot 3 and a half, am perfectly in the middle.*grin*)
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